I hate being a man

Before anything else; I know how much worse women have it and I totally agree with that. And don’t respond anything sexist or derogatory or I’ll remove your comment.

I just want to talk about what I felt was the worst part about growing from a boy to a man. I’m 19, and my earlier teens were so much worse for a lot of reasons. So these last few years, most things have drastically improved. But one thing that nobody warned me about is feeling like a monster. Women are scared of me. I feel creepy and disgusting. My female friends, family, and exes have all expressed how they feel safe with me and I’ve never experienced any of them being scared of me. But when I’m meeting new people or even just doing something in public I regularly have to leave because I feel how uneasy someone is because of me. I don’t feel comfortable walking home at night unless I’m completely alone, and if I’m getting of the bus together with a girl I always wait until I’m alone to continue home. Yesterday I scared the life out of the daughter of a relative I’m staying at. I walked into the kitchen to get something to eat, and just said hi. She got so frightened man, I apologized profusely but I’ve still felt like shit since.

And this isn’t even because of some stigma. These women are scared of me because they’ve been hurt by men. Their family have been hurt by men, and their friends have too. It’s totally reasonable that they’re on their guard. I just hate negatively effecting others, making their day worse. And no matter how hard I try to make up for it I will always be a part of a group of offenders and oppressors. I hate being a man, that’s it.