What does consent look like in a long-term committed relationship?

Hi all, I am trying to understand some things about consent. My understanding is that consent should be enthusiastic and freely given. But how do you know that your long-term partner is actually enthusiastic about it? What do you do if you feel your partner is just having sex out of a sense of duty/obligation?

Recently I (20s M) got out of a 5-year relationship with someone (20s F) who never showed much interest in me sexually. From the very start, she would rarely seem to be in the mood and preferred to just cuddle. When I tried to initiate anything I was usually rejected, and she never really initiated anything. So I stopped initiating pretty quick since I didn't want to pressure her into it, and wanted to create some space. We only had sex a few times over the 5 years (less than 10 times total probably) but she never seemed into it. One time I tried telling her delicately that I wish our sex life could be more, but she got upset and said I was pressuring her by saying I was unhappy.

What should I have done in that situation? I couldn't bring up my feelings at all without pressuring her. So after that I just never brought it up again and we never had sex after that. Was that the right thing to do???

Later on she admitted that sex was a chore for her, but she was willing to do it to keep me happy. Is this consent??? I'm so confused what I was supposed to do here. From my understanding, she was never enthusiastic about it, so there wasn't consent. Eventually we broke up over this after not having sex for 2 years. Overall it was a pretty negative experience for me, I don't know if I did the right thing or not, and I just want some perspectives. Thanks