Open minded pro choicer here wanting to know others' opinions

Hello. I'm pro choice and a friend of mine was recently found out to pro life. He's never been mean to me or seemed sexist from my interactions with him. But to be honest I have been considering no longer being his friend because it makes me very uncomfortable. That's not really what I want though because he's a good person so here I am trying to understand and perhaps open my mind to your beliefs.

I am not here to argue whether the baby/fetus is a life or not, so I'd prefer if we stayed off that topic, but for sake of argument let's say it is.

I've read the top posts here and I saw that a lot of you believe that the father should not be legally allowed to abandon the mother who has the baby because the responsibility and burden should be placed on both individuals. My opinion and question is very much so related to this. If the father or the mother's birth control failed, then the mother is carrying this baby against her will. They took actions to prevent it and it still happened. To say it is still their responsibility is, in my opinion, like saying that if you drive a car every day it is your responsibility that you got into an accident.

Now that we have that established, if the baby was accidentally conceived via rape or birth control failing and we force the mother to carry it to term, I believe the mother should be legally considered a surrogate by the state. What this would mean is that the mother would be paid at the very least $45,000, if not more. Are these acceptable terms for you? Some people consider birth a miracle and that it is something we should be happy about, but not everyone shares the same opinion. Being pregnant against your will can be a very traumatic experience for some people, and even for healthy individuals it can put a lot of stress on your body and mind. We pay foster parents for taking care of children that isn't theirs, we pay babysitters for taking care of children that isn't theirs, we should be paying the mother to do the same.

I want to know your thoughts on this, and please don't attack me verbally because that's not going to change my mind. Thank you.