Looking for advice

Hi looking for some advice. Content Warning:Sexual/Kink lightly mentioned.

So for some background, about 13 years ago I had for a brief time came to recognize I was a plural individual. I recognized that there was a much more protect and masc oriented alter and a much more fem and happier alter. This only lasted a few short months before we decided to fuse. This was in part of at the time plural was much more stigmatized and I did not have any resources or outlets to discuss it that wouldn't end up with a DID diagnosis and treatment. The other part is both of us felt it didn't really matter who was and wasn't in charge as we viewed it as the same meat body no matter who piloted, so we decided to put the fem personality to be dominant in the fusion and fused.

After awhile we kind of forgot about being fused in the first place and just went on as one person for over a decade. Recently have been questioning that and more cognizant of the male alter. Due in large part of dating two different systems and friends with several other systems as well.

Last night while having sex with my boyfriend we defused. Suddenly the male alter was in charge and only in charge. It was short but was clearly different. I had a much deeper voice, my speech pattern was different verbally and mentally. Then Alter switched to the fem alter only. Same thing, voice was much higher, was much giddier and overall didn't feel depressed at all anymore.

My boyfriend reported that the changes were distinct to him as well. I tried doing the male voice while fem and I just couldn't get low enough. Upon waking up today I feel fused again, or perhaps cofronting is what we've been doing all along idk. But cannot recreate either the male's deep voice, nor the fem's high voice. I feel more towards the fem today but I have noticed that the male voice is kind of quiet and that apparantly the male has all our petplay kink. As haven't been feeling like doing that at all today despite it being very much a part of our relationships and sex life.

Not really sure what's happening, and one of the systems I date suggested I post here.