my appearance is making me suicidal.

i want to kill myself because of my ugliness. I can't stand the fact that I will never be seen as worth as much as a beautiful person because of something that's out of my control. being beautiful gives you a sort of automatic goodness, whereas I could be as smart, as kind, as generous, as selfless, as interesting as anything and I would still be perceived as less than, as repulsive; I would still be ridiculed, and there's nothing I can do about it. all of my thoughts, opinions, talents, ideas are automatically given less value and credence than if they were possessed by a beautiful person. people's perception of me will forever be inextricably tied to something superficial. I can't escape my body. I know I will have to settle for a burnout or abuser just to feel loved. I just wish, wish more desperately than anything, that I could be seen totally apart from my face - that my soul was the part of me that was visible. I can feel the hatred and judgment emanating out of people. the condescension. the pity. I hate this body and this face and this outward shell more than anything. if I could wear a mask forever I could. I hope there's something after this life where I won't be trapped inside this disgusting body. i feel utterly worthless.