I live under the same roof with my (23F) brother (34M) but we had never speak to each other for almost 10 years now

my brother used to be a drug addict in his early 20s and always trying to fight and playing loud music at 1-5am to be specific for idk what reason. he stole some money from my mom a bunch of times and always asking for money. if my mom insist of giving him, he’ll then yell and threatened to kill her and hit her. its alot of a mess. it happen everyday and i just stay in my room everytime he is home because i was scared if he’s gonna do something because hearing people fights or just loud voices stresses me out.

one time he was really angry at my mom and he started to throwing stuff and breaking our TV. I heard the word “kill” so many times and I was so scared if he would actually trying to kill my mom and I immediately call everyone (my dad, sisters and my brother) to get some help. my dad left his workplace and when he reached home my brother has stop yelling and screaming and my mother was.. not ok. i was still in my room curling into a ball inside my blanket not knowing what exactly happen and what to do.

i heard my dad had some talking with him and he just stay quite. he FEAR my dad and my dad only. somehow he found out I was the one who reporting the chaos to my dad and he got mad. the next morning he waited until my dad leave to his workplace and start to bang in my door and cursing me and yelling at me for “ruining his life”. I woke up crying and ready to die. I just cried and close my eyes. he stopped until one and a half hour later.

when he was 30 years old he finally went to rehab and is clean for a good 4 years now but just being under a same roof with him makes me uncomfortable still. I can see that he has changed alot, by alot i mean completely sober and normal. but I just can’t... I can’t speak to him not even look at his direction.

I also gets PTSD from people fighting or just noises. I’m also used to stay in my room 24/7 and now my judgemental aunts wanna call me rude for not socializing. I can’t wait to move out.