stuck with my memories

my dad used to be physically and emotionally abusive when i was younger. it has since stopped, but he still tries to control me in different ways such as making me share my location with him all the time even though i’m 22. unfortunately i haven’t been able to do college/work consistently because of my bipolar disorder, and i have no savings so i cannot afford to move out right now. it makes me want to die because it is so emotionally exhausting and terrifying to live in the same house that much of the abuse occurred in. i never feel completely safe but it’s either this or homelessness. i do have some job interviews lined up but it will be awhile before i save up enough to get my own apartment. i never reported the abuse when i was a kid, and now i’m stuck with them and it’s hell.