I wish I could feel anything at all expect this sadness

I feel like it goes down to my bones, like I’m grieving something I don’t even know I’ve lost.

I lie in bed at night for hours trying to sleep and it never comes to me. All I can think about is how miserable I feel all the time.

Dead end job. Relationship problems. No friends. I have nothing and no one.

It’s destroying my relationship. I look at my fiancé and I feel like I don’t even know him. I love him and I hate him. Something deep inside me feels like I want him to do more, like I need more from him but I don’t even know what it is.

I hate my job. I hate my apartment. I’m even starting to hate my pets. I hate myself.

I don’t know what to do but it’s miserable to live like this. I feel like my mind is all over the place