Is Anyone Else Having Luck Meeting People IRL?

I’ve been on a mission to meet a guy IRL because I hate the apps and never get good dates from them. But it’s not going well and I’m getting discouraged. It’s only been about a month so I’m probably not giving it enough time, but it also takes a lot of energy to be going out at night.

Part of it is I’m realizing I’m not good closer. I was connecting through eye contact with a guy in a cafe a few weeks ago and I got super nervous and buried my head in my computer. When I went speed dating I messed up and didn’t take notes, couldn’t remember who the different guys were, and only picked two guys whose names I could remember so I didn’t match with anyone (I have no idea if any of the other guys would have picked me anyway).

On Monday I went to a singles event I really liked. I would have liked to ask one guy out after but instead I started talking to this really young guy I had paired with and by the time we were done talking everyone had left. I’m pretty sure another guy wanted to ask me out as he was lingering nearby and we had been paired earlier but he gave up and left. I realized after that I talked to the young guy because it felt safer than going out into the room and facing rejection. Plus as soon as I’m interested in someone I get really shy and kind of shut down.

I’m thinking maybe I’m not confident enough to do IRL dating but then that kind of leaves me nowhere so I’m discouraged. I have some other events planned but feeling hopeless about going to them and having the same experience.

I guess I’m just feeling down about it all. And wondering if I’m not cute/appealing enough to find a boyfriend.