I (34F) am so sexually frustrated with my husband, I have been sexting with younger redditors and refusing sex to my husband.

I love my husband and appreciate him. He's a great emotional partner but he has no sexual ability at all and he doesn't want to put any effort into trying, he's blatantly told me so. He lasts 30 seconds of boring missionary and says he's done and tired. He refuses to eat me out, and when I try to be sexy and dress up and offer blowjobs, he always has an excuse. So finally I broke down and joined reddit to get some frustrations out. He knows I'm on here looking at "porn" and he's fine with that - but he has no idea I've been sexting with men on here. Some guys have brought me to body shaking orgasms just from touching myself to the way they talk to me, and I've found myself suprisingly very aroused at how some put down my husband and make fun of him. I feel guilty about this but I desperately need this. I can't go through life with no sex life. I have gotten to a point where I am so satisfied with sexting with other men, that I am finding myself refusing sex when my husband decides to finally come on to me. This is both alarming because I love my husband, but also clearly shows how sexually frustrated I am and my need to be desired and be sexually intimate. Sorry for the long rant, I just needed to vent and get this off my chest.