I wish

I wish i was healthy, i wish i was thaught how to be selective with people, i wish i was thaught how to build strong relationships. I am so lonely and alone. Full of anxiety at work i dont like, but i also have no energy to change, nore i dare. I dont feel a job change would make a difference. My life is now only about work, meds, some yoga and 1-2 ppl sometimes to socialize with. I lost my socializing skills. When i stay alone it is so hard to get through the day. Here i am standing broken and i dont know how to fix myself, my life, how to heal from the traumas. I love you, sorry for being bipolar and a mom you can see only every 2nd week for one day. I am so so so so sorry. So much pain.