Struggling in a transphobic country....need an advice

Trigger warning: Self harm, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, transphobia, homophobia

I've been feeling completely overwhelmed and exhausted. I live in an extremely transphobic and homophobic country, won't say the name for obvious reason. I have no access to HRT or any real support. I've been dealing with the urge of self-harm 24/7 and have done self-harm almost daily. I've had thoughts of ending my life and attempted it. I feel trapped and isolated but despite all of the suicide thoughts, I do want want to live. I want HRT. I want to have friends. I want to be in a romantic relationship and I want to be surrounded by supportive people. But it's so hard to see forward when everything feels so impossible. I just don't know how to keep going in a place where I can't be myself. I just can't keep going anymore. I don't think I want to keep going anymore because the pain, the self-harms and the suicide attempts are just too much, I don't know if it's worth it anymore to keep going..and just to let you know, I'm a minor (over the age of 13, not under) so please be kind

If anyone has an advice or has been through something similar, I would be grateful for any support or guidance