I am both validated and heartbroken by my diagnosis

I (25F) got diagnosed with ADHD about two years ago. At first, I cried tears of joy - relief that I had an answer. Relief because I could finally let go of the beliefs I had about myself before my diagnosis. I’m not unintelligent! I’m not lazy!

Lately I’ve been crying tears of sadness and grief. No amount of medication, awareness, or accommodation is truly making a difference. I fall apart cyclically. Like clockwork. It’s not funny, it’s not quirky, its not trendy, it’s debilitating. I can’t sustain the life I want. I can’t be who I want to be. I’m so tired of falling short. I’m so tired of working ten times harder than everyone else to make it seem like I’m staying afloat, when I’m actually drowning from the inside out.

I apologize for being a bit of a black cloud, but I know y’all can relate. I guess I’m looking for some tips, some support to help me put one foot in front of another these days