Sometimes I doubt I have ADHD, because I only have the downsides of it

Hi there,

Want to vent a bit here, maybe find someone going through the same thing. I was diagnosed in the summer, tried medication but had a lot of downsides so am trying to get by without it now.

What really bothers me is that I have all the bad symptoms of ADHD but none of the good ones. I'm always forgetting things, I'm a really bad employee, I can't manage my time and I make a lot of mistakes, I have terrible social anxiety, huge executive dysfunction, if I don't have anywhere to be or any commitments I just lie in bed and scroll and watch Netflix. And I can't make up for this mess with usuall positive sides of ADHD - I freeze up in stressful situations, when I do last minute work - I get the job done but very sloppily and I'm exhoused for the whole week, I'm no good at crafts, no good at driving, no good at playing/learning the instrument or anything in general. I'm quite tired of this way of being, it's hard not to feel like a failure. And I know myself quite well, I know what I like and what I don't like. I've tried a lot of hobbies, a few jobs, I can't find anything that I would be successful at.

So I want to hear if anyone has been in a similar situation, what have you done?

UPDATE: I'm overwhelmed by your replays, you are all so nice! It's good not to feel alone in this. Thank you ❤️