To those who left their abusive partner long ago

It’s been four years since I left my abusive, alcoholic boyfriend of eight years. I want to start by saying that, in many ways, I’m incredibly grateful for all that has changed. With each passing year, I’ve gotten to know myself more. It’s as if a constant rainy cloud has lifted, and I can finally see things more clearly. My point is—there have been so many happy moments since I left him.

However, I still feel like I’m stuck in fight-or-flight mode. I rarely think about him, yet my body remains tense, as if it’s still bracing for something. When I’m alone, I tend to rewatch the same shows over and over. I struggle to step outside my comfort zone. I still need to sleep a lot. I rarely dream. And honestly, I’ve never felt more stuck in my personal and professional life. My therapist tells me to cut myself some slack, but I’m finding it hard.

I just want to know—have you experienced this too? And if so, what helped you move forward?