DOGE GETS HIGH-TECH SLEEP PODS TO FUEL 24/7 EFFICIENCY DRIVE. Eight Sleep's AI-powered Pods arrive at DOGE headquarters, enabling Elon's team to optimize rest while working around the clock. The $1.94T in federal waste won't cut itself.

The smart beds use machine learning to track vital signs and automatically adjust temperature for each sleep stage, achieving 78% accuracy compared to medical-grade EEG.

Perfect for power naps between budget cuts.