WHO PUTS BEANS IN ICE CREAM?!
I am vaguely allergic to milk, not hard core but I get symptoms and my husband gets sad seeing me in such states (aka puffy and dying on the toilet) so I buy dairy free ice cream.
A lot of them suck I’m not going to lie. They have the texture of old ice cream, the type you bought when it was on sale two years ago, froze, and little crystals formed at the top? That one.
Only two are worth eating:
cold stones dairy free (I can add ingredients :) and it’s creamy!)
And Ben and Jerry’s dairy free.
Recent I discovered I’m allergic to beans quite suddenly. Red, black, fava, pinto, kidney, white. But not soy or chickpeas.
It just suddenly happened one day, I’m eating my favorite chili the way mama used to make (she’s won awards for this chili) and suddenly everything tastes like raw blood pouring down my throat. Pins and needles across my lips. I panicked thinking it was wrong-but no it’s just me.
Where am I going with this?
Ben and Jerry’s had a mint dairy free icecream I adored. It was limited though so I decided to try a different flavor with the “new formula” tag on it (god knows how long that’s been in the back for my little local stores)
I eat the amount I am allotted by the servings guide on the back. Yummy! Strawberry’s and cheese cake! Who doesn’t love a good cheese cake?
I feel strange… a deep pain forming across my throat and stomach, a violent cramping and tearing that feels like blood..
Check the label and WHOMSTVE THE FUCKITH PUTS BEANS IN GODAMNED MOTHER FUCKING ICECREAM?!
WHAT SADISTIC BUSTARD -who probably kills dogs by accident- PUTS FUCKING FAVA BEANS IN ICECREAM??!?!
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE TASTES LIKE GRAPES?! BENEDRIL!! AND THAT DOESN’T END DOGS!!!
WHERMST DO YOU EVEN ADD THE BEANS?! WITH THE MILK SUBSTITUTE?! JUST LIGHTLY CARESS THE INSIDE OF THE CONTAINER WITH BEANS?!
Yes while this is a humorous rant, I cannot stress how much pain and anger I am in (angry I didn’t check the label, my bad, thought I could buy ICED CREAM without BEANS giving my immunsystem a JUMPSVARE)