I’m so jealous of people in healthy relationships :/

I(25F)had gone out for drinks with my colleagues and each one of them had their love stories to share. Mostly met in college and married after 8-10 years of relationship,Even the kids younger than me are in 2+ year of relationship. They ask me what’s going on in my life when am I getting married , I just say I’m not good at relationships,I have nothing going on that will lead to marriage :/ I hated it , I just can’t comprehend that there are people out there in healthy happy long term relationships and here I am with 2 failed relationships and can’t handle another talking stage without getting pissed. I’m the girl who is considered out of league in my friend circle as well as colleagues(I’ve been told that)Mostly because of the way I look and carry myself. But little do they know it’s just so hard to even find one person who isn’t just lusting after you, For once I just want someone to hold me and tell me I’m not going to leave you, let’s do life together. I have friends who are amazing , I have an amazing family , I’m independently earning , I drive ,I literally don’t need a man but the void in my heart is so so deep at this point . How do I get over this ? I tried to introspect what aspect of being in a relationship am I missing the most , when I think about it it’s the little acts of intimacy ,physical and non physical from the person I love. I guess I just miss being in love and the person I become when I’m in love.