ADHD not diagnosed

I'm new here, and desperate. My son went through ADHD testing at two different practices when he was 5, almost 6. One was a psych PA and one was a very highly respected pediatric neuropsychologist. Both said he does not have ADHD, actually that there is nothing "wrong" with him.

My husband and I just don't agree. Husband has ADHD and has said for years that our son is very similar to him as a child. Every. single. time I read about ADHD online, or other parents experiences, I'm like "oh my god that's exactly what we are dealing with."

Son is now 6 and recently started Zoloft. We've gotten some relief from the emotional outbursts but the CONSTANT chaotic energy, impulsivity, defiance, mean/rude behavior continues. Another obstacle is that he does none of this in school, and the PA told us he has to present these symptoms in more than one environment. I wish a medical professional could just follow us for one day to see what we deal with.

What do we do? PA is the one who manages his meds, and he suggested switching to Prozac. Having been on that myself for anxiety, I know that isn't what my son needs. He needs something that can just calm him down. We had ONE good day on Zoloft and my husband and I were floored at how easy parenting was that day, and were like "is this how it's supposed to be?" I just want that, consistently.

Anyway that's my venting. So I guess my question is- has anyone's child not received an ADHD diagnosis but still exhibited all the behaviors, as well as had the genetic component- and if so, what did you do? How do we push for the right meds?