I'm pregnant and alone and tired

I (22F) am 12 weeks pregnant, and no one in my life knows but my long time partner (25M) who broke up with me dahil he doesn't see himself in a relationship right now daw (haha bigla nalang after ng napagsamahan namin noh lol).

We've been zero contact for three weeks now dahil nasstress lang ako sa mga sinasabi niya, pero I have been dealing with this alone ever since kasi I only found out after the breakup. Ang gusto niya is magpalaglag ako dahil hindi ko raw kakayanin to mag-isa and he's not going to be there for me rin dahil may other priorities siya. Tapos biglang he wants to meet and give me money and "talk about legalities," whatever the hell that means.

I've been sneaking out and going behind my family's back to take care of myself and consult doctors. I have had my things packed already for weeks. My savings and insurances are ready as well. I'm preparing to leave this life behind dahil I can't bring myself to tell my family and friends about what's been happening. Pero sa totoo lang, sukong suko nalang talaga ako.

I really want to be a mother to this child, pero baka tama nga ex ko: I'm not cut out for this. It's like I'm about to self-destruct and the only thing keeping me from not doing anything to harm myself is this baby. Gusto ko nalang sumuko, pero paano? Gusto ko makausap ex ko and start anew with this child, pero alam kong it will only bring me pain and stress, not good for the baby and me. Gusto ko magalit, pero I can't direct the anger and frustration to anyone but myself. I just want to run away from everything. I just want to give up.