Is my mother in law being rude?
I have a 6 year old daughter. She’s mixed - I’m white and her dad is black. Ever since she was born, my mother in law has made several comments that just don’t sit right with me. I really can’t tell if she’s being rude and weird toward me or if I’m just being sensitive. Examples:
When my daughter was born, MIL was holding her and she said “she’s a little too light but that’s okay”.
She has said on multiple occasions that my daughter looks nothing like me and is all (family’s last name).
My husband has said many times that my daughter has my legs to which my MIL replies “no she’s got Grammy’s legs”.
She has said that my sister in law, her daughter, looks more like my daughter’s mom than I do.
I sent a photo to her today that showed my daughter next to a childhood photo of me saying I saw a resemblance. Her response was “no, she does not look like you.”.
She’s also done and said other things that don’t sit right with me. Every time I cook for our whole family, she tends to step in and tell me what to do even though I didn’t ask (and I’ve cooked for them several times and they love my cooking every single time). She’s also made comments about me being white. She’ll say things like me wanting to be skinny is a white girl thing. She talks badly about white women in front of me and she also calls white people “crackers” in front of me. Cracker doesn’t offend me at all but I’m like… is she trying to tell me something or what? I lost weight a couple years ago and she told me I looked sick and not good and I needed to put some more weight on. I feel like this is a generational thing so it didn’t bother me THAT much, but I still wonder about it. There was also a time years ago that she invited me to go get my nails and toes done with her. My husband said something along the lines of “oh that’s nice of you to do that for her mom” and she said “um no yall can pay her nails, I’m paying for my own”.
Idk. She’s just weird to me sometimes. She tells me all the time that she loves me and I’m like a daughter to her. She publicly brags about how well I take care of her son and this that and the third. She also praises me frequently for how good of a mother I am. But then she’ll make these little comments that just seem backhanded to me and I just don’t get it.