Shame takes over in social interactions

I ınstantly feel like an outsider. I cant chit chat with people I met first time like they do with each other.Thats why when people are building relationships friendships,signing into groups I feel like I am am not belonging here,there. I get hypervigilant , I analyze power dynamics,who is dominant who is submissive who is better who is worse ,more and less,successful failure,winner loser. I won’t be comfortable with people who are better more powerful than me and can have control or authority over me. I will look at these things from an inferiorty complex place. I am suffering from being alone(and lonely)but when things are like this I will always be alone because I can’t build healthy relationships with people or humanity.Always monitoring danger. I hide myself like I have to, showing myself is not optional.Part of the reason is also when I am with my close friends I am happy to act or talk funny,and when I am alone also I usually do “autistic” behaviors to entertain myself.This I can’t show to people I met new because it’s not so appropriate? I feel like I am not equipped with necessary social skills and don’t have the safe world view where I can meet people and make them my people. In these new social groups or interactions I will play cool quiet and just want to look perfect to people.Maybe people d view me as jerk. Funny part is also I am a codependent and dependent on people for my emotional needs. I need to change my world view and learn what to do when shame takes over so I can bond with people healthily and not end up alone lol. How can I do it?