"HB 420"

Republicans should legalize marijuana as mental health reparations for all who are already suffering from the effects of the dumb shit coming outta the statehouse directly, as well as all the gratuitous boot-licking they're passing through on behalf the new f(ed)eral administration, all human-centipede-style.

But since that's not possible to entertain as a fair negotiation for such empathy-bereft fundies, I have an alternative that is more palatable.

Legalize weed as a defense strategy against all us soft, heart-on-our-sleeves Hoosiers in order to keep us in-da-couch, unable to organize against you when your base finally gets betrayed and hurt enough to join us in providing for their best interests.

You can even collect the taxes in cash from the dispensaries to fill your pools for Scrooge McDuck backstrokes.

Regardless, midterms are comin'.