Positive beta and mixed emotions

After 4 years TTC, 3 IUIs, 3 retrievals, 3 failed transfers, one chemical, and every test under the sun, I got a positive beta today!!! 9 days post transfer, 140 HCG.

I keep yo-yo-ing between shock, joy, and scared to death. Every step of this journey something’s gone wrong so I just keep getting waves of, “this can’t be the end of this, something bads going to happen.”

Help me get over this? Success stories? Tips to switch my POV? I think this journey has given me PTSD and I just want to be excited but I can’t get there.