I wanna die

Why do I miss him. Why do I want to be comforted by the person who hurt me. He’s out having fun at a party and I’m alone with our son. All I want is a fucking hug and to be held and told it’s gonna be okay. But I’m not gonna get that. I’m alone.

My friends and family don’t make it better, I want HIM. He was my person. The one who comforted me when I needed it most. Without him I feel dead inside. I don’t want to go on. I just want to get shit faced or wrap myself in a blanket burrito and binge watch a show, that’s all I have the energy for. But I can’t even do that because I have a baby to care for

I’m not ok