My Racist Uncle Thinks He's a Political Expert

So, my racist uncle decided to drop some "wisdom" at our family BBQ about why Kamala Harris isn't suitable for President. According to him, it's because she's a woman, and a woman of color, and something about her laugh.

Here’s how our conversation went down:

Uncle: "Kamala Harris? Please. A woman can't handle the pressures of the presidency."

Me: "Oh right, because men have done such a bang-up job, what with the wars, scandals, and the whole almost nuking each other thing. Stellar track record there."

Uncle: "She's too emotional. You know how women are."

Me: "Yeah, because losing your temper on Twitter at 3 AM is the pinnacle of emotional stability, right?"

Uncle: "Her laugh is just... ugh. It makes her look unprofessional."

Me: "Yeah, because nothing says 'professional' like incoherent rambling and mispronouncing 'Yosemite.'"

Uncle: "She's not even fully Black. She's half Indian."

Me: "Wow, way to show your expertise in racial purity, Uncle Racist. I'll be sure to alert the 23andMe authorities."

Uncle: "She just doesn't have the experience needed."

Me: "Because being a district attorney, state attorney general, and U.S. Senator isn't experience enough. But hey, reality TV and bankruptcies are top-tier qualifications, right?"

By the end, he was sputtering more than an old car in a junkyard. Can’t wait for the next family get-together.