how do you deal with health issues and make routines?

I'm eighteen dealing with a lot of stress trying to keep my mental and physical health right. I keep gaining too much weight, dealing with nocturnal enuresis, living in a depression room, in a very dysfunctional household.

Every doctor's and therapist's appointment, I walk out feeling more insecure, ashamed, and/or hopeless as days go by. It's hard to explain how overstimulating and upsetting this is all becoming to people who don't understand me nor how I function. I don't even fully know how I function either as an undiagnosed. I'm tired of this.

It's like everything going on in my body conflicts with each other, and is slowly killing me. And I don't know how to change it or turn it around without getting overwhelmed. I feel like trying to make a routine to get on track, but the thought of having to follow something is just as nerve-wracking, yet not having one is like letting myself stay stuck. I don't know what to do. 😓