DAE struggle to know whether they want to be someone’s friend or not?

I have no idea if this is an ADHD/autism thing or not, but I really have hard time telling if i actually LIKE spending time around a person. Like, I’ll hang out with a person a few times, enjoy bits and pieces of our time together so I assume I like them, and then slowly realize that I feel really drained after being with them, there are major aspects of them I find annoying, or that I can’t be my full self around them. By this point the other person already acts like we’re closer than we are and I end up feeling shitty.

I feel very guilty about it because this is a thing that keeps happening, and I don’t really know what to do about it. I’ve had to pull away from multiple friendships that feel either overstimulating or just like too much and I think I end up hurting people. I’ve even realized that my old best friend and I don’t have anything in common anymore. I really try to see the best in people and I want to build community and be loving, but it’s hard when I slowly lose the ability to tolerate others.

I’m just not sure how to even tell if I like someone?? Like I can enjoy the way I feel, or like that we have something in common, but knowing if i like the other person? Confusing as hell. I’d usually rather be on my own.

Not sure if any of this makes sense or if it makes me sound awful. I do have a few friends who I value very much but most of them I still have to keep at an arm’s length. But curious if any of y’all can relate.