Area Manager - waiting to be freed.

7 months in the role & I quite honestly don’t remember who I was before I started this position. I hear a lot of people say not to make your job your entire life, but it’s easier said than done when 85% of your life is consumed by your job. Yes, I know what I signed up for as I thought I would be able to handle the terms of my contract. I just had no clue how draining it would be at my particular site. The culture is very poor & there’s a dark cloud over you every time you step into the building. The feeling that I feel when I finally leave out of those doors everyday, is UNMATCHED…after dealing with 12 hours of micromanagement with no designated breaks, being ridiculed & pressured to bridge about things that are LITERALLY out of your control, associates who don’t care, and what good does writing them up do when PXT doesn’t approve the feedback or if they do get terminated, they get rehired for the 10th time…I’m sure that’s why they don’t care? Lmao. Also having peers that are committed to making you look bad & yet are extremely hypocritical, evil towards associates, including saying racial slurs……but you don’t match energy because you are genuinely tired and checked out mentally. Senior Ops isn’t supportive AT ALL. They never check in to see how you’re doing, let alone say hello to you…but go straight into giving insane demands & back to back like you’re a fucking robot & asking you about NUMBERS NUMBERS NUMBERS. I’m literally too dead on the inside to care about numbers. At this point I don’t even care about the bonuses, the pay, the benefits…anything. I’m drained & the only reason I keep seeing it through is because I haven’t had any luck finding anything that will be better for my mental health & I have bills. Call me a pussy or whatever you want to call me (shade to one of my peers) but this job is literally sucking the life out of me. I feel like a zombie & I hate it, because my associates are starting to see it. Outside of me not finding another job yet, they’re also the reason I keep coming back. My associates are the best part of my job, and they have been more understanding & supportive than my actual team. But we’re encouraged to not establish bonds with them? They’re the realest ones in the FC, so how could you not sometimes? To the AMs out there experiencing this also, we will be freed from this company that pretends to value us someday soon 🙏🏽